Johnny Truelove
Frankie Ballenbacher
Jake Mazursky
Susan Hartunian
Sonny Truelove
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[First lines of film] You wanna know what this is all about? You can say its about drugs or guns or disaffected youth, or whatever you like. But this whole thing is about parenting. It's about taking care of your children. You take care of yours, I take care of mine.
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You've fucked up your life so bad! And the only way you're gonna UNFUCK it, is that you come clean now, Johnny, YOU COME CLEAN NOW!
Olivia Mazursky
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They said there's a reason for everything. Well if God's got a purpose for me, he better get the fuck down and show me, cause I don't see it!
Dialogue
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Angela Holden: So you're like... ransom.
Julie Beckley: That's hot.
Zack Mazursky: It's okay. Its like another story to tell my grandchildren
Julie Beckley: Stolen boy.
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Susan Hartunian: This kid has been kidnapped!
Sabrina Pope: Dude, that's so fucking cool.
Susan Hartunian: Dude, this shirt is fucking cool, Bob Marley is cool, you guys think that kidnapping is cool?
Sabrina Pope: Yeah, Susan, it's fucking exciting. I think its romantic he's doing it for his brother.
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Frankie Ballenbacher: Where is that motherfucker?
Johnny Truelove: Who the fuck knows? I don't know! He's probably laying low waiting to shoot me in the fucking head! I mean, think about it, that's what I'd be doing.
Frankie Ballenbacher: Stop already, alright? You know how I get with this anxiety shit!
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Frankie Ballenbacher: I got it under control. Say it, "You, Frankie, have got it under control." Say it!
Susan Hartunian: You, Frankie, have it under control.
Frankie Ballenbacher: Right now, say "I, Susan, am a whiny fucking bitch and you, Frankie, have it under control!"
Susan Hartunian: I, Susan, am a whiny fucking bitch and you Frankie, have it under control!
Frankie Ballenbacher: Worst comes to worst I tell everybody to go fuck themselves, put 50 bucks in the kid's pocket, and stick him on a bus!
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Angela Holden:
[Sitting bored in bed] You wanna fuck?
Johnny Truelove: All right.
[They strip down and begin making out]
Angela Holden:
[pauses] Is something wrong?
Johnny Truelove: No.
Angela Holden: No? Your dick's not even hard!
Johnny Truelove: It's getting there.
Angela Holden: Getting there? It's like a piece of bubble gum!
Johnny Truelove: Then do something about it, bitch!
[She slaps his chest aggressively then disappears beneath the covers, Johnny is extremely distracted, she reappears soon]
Johnny Truelove: Sorry.
Angela Holden: Sorry? Yeah, you're a sorry little bitch who can't even FUCK!
Johnny Truelove: Hey! Excuse me for being a little distracted, alright? Give me a break, I've got a lot on my mind right now!
Angela Holden:
[derisively] Well, what do you wanna fucking do? You wanna play cards? You wanna cuddle?
Johnny Truelove: Can't we just...?
Angela Holden: NO! Fuck that shit, I wanna FUCK!
Johnny Truelove: Suck my dick, all right?
Angela Holden: I tried that already; it didn't work, did it?
[She smirks]
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Zack Mazursky: Frankie, what's going on? Frank? Frankie? Dude.
[pause] Oh, man!
Elvis Schmidt:
[Grabs Zack] All right, you ready? Let's do this!
Zack Mazursky: OH MAN, PLEASE! I didn't do anything!
[He starts crying]
Elvis Schmidt: Move it! SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Zack Mazursky: I SWEAR TO GOD, PLEASE!
Frankie Ballenbacher: Relax!
Zack Mazursky: FRANKIE, PLEASE!
Frankie Ballenbacher: Relax, buddy! Relax, okay? It's not what you think, okay?
Zack Mazursky: YEAH IT IS, FRANKIE! Frankie, I thought we were boys!
Frankie Ballenbacher:
[Frankie starts crying] We ARE boys!
Zack Mazursky: Frankie, there's nobody up there! Nobody is picking me up!
Frankie Ballenbacher: Yes, there is, okay? Just stop freaking out!
Zack Mazursky: Frankie, you promise?
Frankie Ballenbacher: I promise, all right?
Zack Mazursky: You swear?
Frankie Ballenbacher:
[Frankie continues to break down crying] Zack, everything's cool, on my life, okay, l swear to God! Come on. Okay, I swear to God, alright?
[Frankie takes Zack's arm and leads him up the hill]
Frankie Ballenbacher: Let's just walk!
Zack Mazursky: All right...
Frankie Ballenbacher: We're just going to take a walk. Come on, man...
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[Final lines of the film]
Cosmo Gadabeeti: I'm telling you, he's lost.
Sonny Truelove: I think he's right. I mean, I ain't seen him. He ain't here. He must be lost. Now get the fuck out of my house.
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