Devil
Jason Wise
Erin Ulmer
Wendy Christensen
Kevin Fischer
Lewis Romero
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Four years from now, Lewis Romero goin' in the second round to Oakland... He's gonna romp and stomp. Fifteen seasons with four Super Bowl rings on his fingers. Lewis ain't afraid of no death, Fuck Death! Death is a fuckin' Denver fan. Death wear blue and orange. Real men wear black. Lewis ain't afraid of no Death. Death is afraid of me! Death fears me! 'Cause, baby, I just win. I just win, Kevin! That's all I know how to do! I just win! Uhh! Fuck Death! ...
[After the hanging swords swing down and cut the pulley ropes.] Whoo! What did I tell you, Kevin, huh? Fuck death! I just win! That's all I know how to do, Kevin. Baby, I just win!
[Lifts weights once again. As Lewis screams triumphantly, the weights swing down and crush his head like a ripe watermelon, splattering bloody pulp on Wendy and Kevin.] Dialogue
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Frankie Cheeks: [While recording Ashley and Ashlyn.] Oh! Where you guys are right now? If you raise your hands and just, ha, cup them slightly, it'll look like you're holding the devil's balls.
Ashley Freund: And we'd wanna do that why?
Frankie Cheeks: When else you ever gonna see a dick that big?
[Points at the Devil's statue.]
Ashlyn Halperin: I'm looking at one right now.
[Frankie laughs.]
Frankie Cheeks: Man, you guys are smoking hot!
Ashley Freund: Get out, Frankie!
Ashlyn Halperin: Yeah, why are you even here?
Ashley Freund: Yeah, you graduated, like, two years ago!
Frankie Cheeks: I stuck around to monitor your development.
08m22s
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[After Ashley and Ashlyn die, the minister begins to read the funeral speech.]
Minister: We may feel that our lives are not our own, that Death controls and frames our lives. Our birth is nothing but death begun. Yet whether it is with this tragic loss of young lives, which we have suffered much of late, or with the soft passing of the elderly in the night, we are all equal in Death's eyes.
Ian McKinley: [Interrupting.] Equal... in Death's eyes? All of us? How can you say that?
[Everyone turns to him.]
Student: Shut up, McKinley.
Ian McKinley: Dude, think it through: Charlie Manson, he made it to 70, Osama? Still kicking.
[Erin tries to usher him away.]
Erin Ulmer: Let's go. Come on.
Ian McKinley: Pimps, vice presidents, walking around, all the atrocities they've committed, they're alive and well. These two girls, who've never done shit to anybody, they don't get to make it to 18! Where's the fucking equality in that?
[Lewis, Kevin and Erin begin to lead him out.]
38m12s
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[After Ian is removed, the minister resumes his speech.]
Minister: Those of you who would like to pay a final rememberance, please step foward at this time.
[Several people move forward. Frankie turns to Julie, looking guilty.]
Frankie Cheeks: I so feel this is so my fault.
Julie Christensen: How could it possibly be your fault?
Frankie Cheeks: Seeing women as nothing but fun bags. I mean, if I'd have seen their, whatever, humanity, they wouldn't have felt the pressure to look so good. Impress Franklin Cheeks. Go on diets. Deodorize. Stretch. Tan.
Julie Christensen: Don't be down, Frankie. Be proud of your ability to make everything that happens somehow a story about you.
[The reassured Frankie dreamingly closes his eyes and attempts to kiss Julie, but she slaps him.]
Julie Christensen: God!
[She, Amber and Perry depart, leaving Frankie abashed.]
39m18s
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