Francis
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[first lines; narrating] Greetings, and salutations, friends. Sit back in your seat, look hard, and listen. Because I got a story to tell, and it's not gonna be pretty. Oh, the name's Francis. You can see what species I belong to, but don't take me too lightly.
Bluebeard
Pascal/Claudandus
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[last lines before his death] The horror... so much pain... darkness... Francis... so much darkness... look at me now, and all you see, Francis, is evil. Yet once I was good...
Dialogue
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Francis:
[talking about Deep Purple] Let me guess. This latest victim's also a tom, just like the other 4 stiffs.
Bluebeard: Smartass. How the hell did you know that?
Francis: It's a guess, but an educated one.
Bluebeard: Anyway this time it's tight-assed Deep Purple that's taken out his last rat. His throat looks exactly though someone decided to test an ice pick to see if it works.
Francis: One question, was he castrated?
Bluebeard: Purple had his jewels intact, but, he couldn't get it up anymore.
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Pascal:
[types the word "FELIDAE" on the computer] Do you know the meaning of this word, Felidae?
Francis: Could it be a scientific name for all our family divisions, "cats" as they're usually called?
Pascal: Felidae. Evolution has created an astounding number of various creatures. Not one however deserves the respected wonder the genus Felidae has earned.
[shows on the computer a list]
Francis: Wow! What did you combine on this list.
Pascal: Those of us who live in the neighborhood, name, age, gender, breed, marking. I almost forgot, I need to enter you now as well.
Francis: Incredible!
Pascal: Yes it is. Even better if it can help us solve a murder.
Francis: Did you know it all of the dead brothers?
Pascal: Yes! They were all on the prowl after some female in heat.
Francis: I... I have an idea. Find out what breed they were. That may lead us to a new tie-up.
Pascal: Simple enough.
[shows on the computer the murdered cats' type of race]
Pascal: Well, none of them were particularly aristocratic examples of Felidae.
Francis: But all the same race, so they weren't just excited and male. They were all European Shorthairs.
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Francis:
[spotting a dead cat with her stomach and throat ripped out] Oh my God...
Kong: Looks like he's run out of steam suddenly. That's what happens to you when you eat too much junk food.
Francis: Yeah, I'm out of breath. And it looks like I'm not the only one.
[indicating the dead cat]
Kong: What bullshit you talking now?
[gasps] Solitaire! Oh Solitaire! What have they done to you? What the hell has that evil bastard done?! My lovely, lovely Solitaire!
[cries]
Francis: Who was she?
Herman 1: Solitaire was the boss' favorite girl, and chances are those are his family you can see as well.
[pointing out the dead kitten fetuses]
Kong: I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna hamburger him! I'll tear his balls off and stuff them down his throat! What kind of heartless bastard would do this?! Who?! Who?! Tell me!
[to Francis] Was it you? No, you didn't have the time. Well then who did it? Who was it?!
Voice cast