Topper Harley
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Do you know what its like to have your heart shot out of season and tied to the top of a car? How it feels to be passed like the world's largest kidney stone? Ramada... I don't THINK so.
Tug Benson
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[to a roomful of Japanese businessmen] It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.
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Every time I give an order, it gets screwed up! Plan a reception, wrong hors d'oeuvres. Appoint an ambassador, he leaves the country.
Ramada Rodham Hayman
Commander Harbinger
Others
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News Anchorman: In an emotional address at the state capitol Nebraska Governor, Paul Burmaster made a public apology for his state being so flat.
Dialogue
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Ramada: Dexter is one of the captives. He's my husband.
Topper: You've got to be joking.
Ramada: If I was joking, I would say: "A rabbi, a priest and a minister walk into a bar..."
Topper: Okay, okay, he is your husband.
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Ramada: Topper, I was so young, just a schoolgirl. He was an older man, so wise in the ways of the world. He used to come around the schoolyard, day after day. I so admired his persistence. Even the restraining order my parents slapped on him was no deterrent. He opened my eyes to the arts: music, clog-dancing, WrestleMania. His work has meant so much to so many. And I owe him everything, Topper. Everything.
Topper: I'm happy for you, kid. But if you think you can hurt me again, you're wrong. I left my heart in my other pants.
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Topper: Ramada, I want to be with you. I want to hold you. I want to meet your parents and pet dog...
Ramada: My parents are dead, Topper. My dog ate them.
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Topper: President Benson.
Tug: No. you're not. I've see him on TV. An older man, about my height.
Michelle: Mr. President, this is Topper Harley.
Tug: Topper Harley, of course. The son I never had. No wonder I didn't recognize you then.
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Tug: Here's the target area.
Gerou: That's Minnesota, sir.
Tug: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home, and get in some good fishing while we're at it.
Gerou: Sir, the enemy is over there.
Tug: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything?
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Tug: Got you! Listening at the door, uh? Well, Walters. Looks like we've got our saboteur.
Denton: That's your wife, sir.
Tug: Yeah, so it is. Lavinia. You're looking as lovely as the day we met.
[to Walters] Find out what she knows.
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Soto: President Benson, where's your first lady?
Tug: I don't know. I've had lots of women. Lost my flower at the age of 15. I can't keep track.
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Topper: We both know you belong with Dexter. You're part of his work, the thing that keeps him going. I'm no good at being noble, but... do you have any idea what would happen if you stay here with me?
Ramada: Of course I do. Sex. Wild, free, passionate, unbridled sex. I would fondle you in ways you can't imagine. I would pleasure you at any time, in any place, in any way, for as long as you could possibly desire.
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