La Vie aquatique (2004)

Partager la citation sur facebook Does this seem fake? [points gun at jane]

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm going to find it and I'm going to destroy it. I don't know how yet, maybe dynamite.

Partager la citation sur facebook Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome.

Partager la citation sur facebook Nobody knows what's going to happen. And then we film it. That's the whole concept.

Partager la citation sur facebook You really think it's cool for you to hit the sauce with a bun in the oven?

Partager la citation sur facebook [to Ogata and Pele] What are you doing? Go to bed, you sons of bitches!

Partager la citation sur facebook Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.

Partager la citation sur facebook Supposedly Cousteau and his cronies invented the idea of putting walkie-talkies into the helmet. But we made ours with a special rabbit ear on the top so we could pipe in some music.

Partager la citation sur facebook You know, I'd be jealous about you staying at Ali's place, except I always thought he was kind of a closet queer.

Partager la citation sur facebook That pregnant slut is playing us like a cheap fiddle!

Partager la citation sur facebook Are you finding what you were looking for... out here with me? I hope so.

Partager la citation sur facebook Oseary, this is probably my son Ned. We just met.

Partager la citation sur facebook Just do what you gotta do to cover your ass, Bill.

Partager la citation sur facebook You hung us out to dry. If we don't handle this right, we're gonna all get murdered. Including her unborn British child.

Partager la citation sur facebook Don't point that gun at him, he's an unpaid intern.

Partager la citation sur facebook Tell them if they don't get off my boat right now... there's gonna be a major shit-storm.

Partager la citation sur facebook Be cool on this shit, okay, cubbie? I mean, at least try to show both sides.

Partager la citation sur facebook I said get your ass the hell off of my boat!

Partager la citation sur facebook I've never seen a bond company stooge stick his neck out like that.

Partager la citation sur facebook The Arctic Night-lights. Yeah. "As if the natural world's been turned upside down." Lord Mandrake. Vikram, get some cutaways of this miracle. Klaus, Ogata, put out the deck fires before we sink.

Partager la citation sur facebook Those fucking amateurs. You left your dog, you idiots!

Partager la citation sur facebook Go downstairs and throw a tarp over anything that says "Operation Henessey" on it.

Partager la citation sur facebook The first thing that goes through a captain's head when he hears there's low morale goin' around is: "What'd I do? Is it all my fault? "Well, he's probably right. Most of us have been together a long time. There are others that were here before that. Do you all not like me anymore? I mean, what am I supposed to do? I don't know. Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.

Partager la citation sur facebook I mean, I know I want him to think of me like a father. But the fact that there's an outside chance that he could really be my actual... biological son... is very difficult for me.

Partager la citation sur facebook It's probably the last adventure I've got in me. I was hopin' to go out in a flash of blazes, but I'll probably just end up goin' home.

Partager la citation sur facebook Oh, shit! Swamp leeches. Everybody, check for swamp leeches, and pull them off... Nobody else got hit? I'm the only one? What's the deal?

Partager la citation sur facebook What a shame. They had a bartender here, Kino, made the best rum cannonball I've ever tasted.

Partager la citation sur facebook We'll give them the reality this time. A washed-up old man with no friends, no distribution deal, wife on the rocks, people laughin' at him, feelin' sorry for himself.

Partager la citation sur facebook Wolodarsky, go get the keys to that fishing boat, and throw them in the water. No, wait. They might have another set. Just blow it up.

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm about to blow my stack. I turn my back, and the bullshit begins. Ned, you're a scumbag. And, Jane, you're a goddamn liar.

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm sorry I never acknowledged your existence all those years. It won't happen again. I mean it. You are my son to me. Almost more so.

Partager la citation sur facebook Give me that camera. I'm gonna smash it over your head. Cut!

Partager la citation sur facebook This is the first time Eleanor's ever cried in front of me as long as I've known her. Except for once when she got her arm caught in the deck winch.

Partager la citation sur facebook Well, I was a little embarrassed at first. Obviously people are gonna think I'm a showboat and a little bit of a prick. But then I realized... that's me. I said those things. I did those things. I can live with that.

Partager la citation sur facebook [referring to the shark that ate his friend, Esteban] I wonder if it remembers me.

Partager la citation sur facebook We complete the adventure, but another member of our crew has been lost. This one was my son. Also our equity partner. We start the voyage home in our wounded vessel.

Partager la citation sur facebook This is an adventure.

Partager la citation sur facebook [while playing poker with pirates] Steven. Are you rescuing me? [Steve shrugs awkwardly] Fold. [Alistair is shot by one of the pirates]

Partager la citation sur facebook They made soup out of my research turtles.

Partager la citation sur facebook We've never made great husbands, have we? Of course, I have a good excuse. I'm part gay.

Partager la citation sur facebook Is that one of mine? I think one of my research turtles survived.

Partager la citation sur facebook Where are you coming from, jack off? Shit.

Partager la citation sur facebook Who the shit is Kingsley Zissou?

Partager la citation sur facebook Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.

Partager la citation sur facebook I hear what you're saying, but I think you misjudge the guy.

Partager la citation sur facebook Land ho! Port-au-Patois dead ahead! Port-au-Patois! Port-au-Patois! Ho! Ho! Ho! Land ho! Ho!

Partager la citation sur facebook Psst! There's something in the coat check.

Partager la citation sur facebook Not if I don't see you first, sonny...

Partager la citation sur facebook I've never seen so many electric jellyfish in all my life!

Partager la citation sur facebook I ought to have stayed in Kentucky where I belong.

Partager la citation sur facebook I still wish I could breathe underwater.

Partager la citation sur facebook If you ever touch me again I will kick your goddamn teeth out.

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm gonna fight you, Steve!

Partager la citation sur facebook Captain, I am required by law to notify the bank of any illegal activities...

Partager la citation sur facebook Bill Ubell here. I'm on a pay phone. I am still blindfolded. My arms are bound. But a young boy has been kind enough to assist me. There's not much chance I'll get another opportunity to call... so I thought I would ask if— What? No.

Partager la citation sur facebook We fuckin' stole it, man

Partager la citation sur facebook I'm also a human being.

Partager la citation sur facebook I need to find a baby for this father.

Partager la citation sur facebook Actually, I was sort of terrified about having this baby. And right now I'm not really scared of anything. Maybe it's my hormones.

Partager la citation sur facebook Bloody hell. God save that poor little stooge.

Partager la citation sur facebook Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours. We swam with the, um, uh — Oh, goddamn it. I had it on the plane. What was I gonna say? Ah, well.

Partager la citation sur facebook Tell me. Who knocked up the reporter?

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Encounter with highly abnormal sharklike fish! Ten meters in length, unfamiliar dorsal features, spots all over it! I shot it dorsally with a homing dart! Esteban was eaten! Check the scanning monitor! Start tracking before it dives too deep!
Klaus: Esteban was bitten?
Steve: Eaten!
Klaus: Is he dead?
Steve: Esteban was eaten!
Klaus: He was swallowed whole?
Steve: No! Chewed!

Partager la citation sur facebook Festival Director: That's an endangered species at most. What would be the scientific purpose of killing it?
Steve: Revenge.

Partager la citation sur facebook Antonia Cook: You must be so excited.
Steve: I hope so. You think it went OK?
Antonia Cook: No. Congratulations... Seriously.
Steve: Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Alistair: How are things going with your - what are you calling it? Leopard fish?
Steve: Jaguar shark.
Alistair: Jaguar shark! So tell me - does it really exist?
Steve: You know, Allie, I don't want to give away the ending.

Partager la citation sur facebook Alistair: You're the most ravishing creature that I've ever seen in my life.
Eleanor: Hello Skinny.
Alistair: Hello Eleanor.
Eleanor: Is that a new merit badge?
Alistair: Oh, yeah, as a matter of fact it is. I just became a Knight in Portugal, the Presidente gave a special ball...
Steve: Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: [referring to Hennessey] How could you lay that slick faggot?
Eleanor: Well, I was in love with him at the time...

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: We were pretty good while we lasted, weren't we?
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, we were like glory's gate, my darling. We were like that bloody shark of yours, we swam with the... oh, damn it, I had it on the plane.

Partager la citation sur facebook Oseary Drakoulias: You must swear, legally swear that you will not kill that shark, or whatever it is, if it actually exists.
Steve: I'm going to fight it, but I'll let it live. What about my dynamite?
Oseary Drakoulias: [to assistant] Phillip, dynamite.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: Captain Zissou my name is Ned Plimpton...
Steve: OK, Man.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: You're supposed to be my son, right?
Ned: I don't know. But I did want to meet you, just in case.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: Why didn't you ever try to contact me?
Steve: Because I hate fathers, and I never wanted to be one.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: People say that when someone says something like that, it's because they're jealous. But it still hurts. It hurts bad.
Ned: That man was damn rude. He can go straight to hell.

Partager la citation sur facebook Eleanor: Your cat's dead.
Steve: What? Which one?
Eleanor: Marmalade. I'm sorry.
Steve: What happened?
Eleanor: A rattlesnake bit it in the throat.
Steve: Goddamn it, Eleanor, why do you have to say it like that? You couldn't try to break it a little bit nicer?
Steve: She's a rich bitch, you know. She was raised by maids. Her parents paid for this island and two of my worst movies. People say she's the brains behind Team Zissou.
Ned: People say a lot of things. What kind of cat was it?
Steve: Who gives a shit?
Steve: I think it was a tabby.

Partager la citation sur facebook Klaus: So, you really think you're a Zissou.
Ned: I don't know.
Klaus: Well, you traveled a long way for "I don't know," sonny.
Ned: That's true. But it's important to me.
Klaus: Yeah? Well, there are a lot of things that are important to some people around here, sonny.
Ned: Klaus, don't call me "sonny."
Klaus: And one more thing: It's the Steve Zissou show, not the Ned show. [slaps Ned in the face] You hear me?
Ned: Yes, I do. Klaus?
Klaus: Ja?
Ned: If you ever touch me again, I will kick your goddamn teeth out. Is that understood?
Klaus: Not if I don't see you first, sonny.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: When'd you first hear about me?
Steve: About five years ago. I read it in an article about myself.
Ned: Did you believe it?
Steve: It was in the paper. I assumed they checked their facts.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: I dunno, I think that bull-dyke reporter is gonna burn us.
Ned: I don't think she's a lesbian, Dad. She's pregnant.
Steve: Bull dykes can get pregnant. Anyway, I'd back out now, but we need the press.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Where'd you come from? You look pregnant.
Jane: I am pregnant. I'm not even going to ask what you men are doing out here in your matching pajamas, by the way.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Can you hear the Jack Whales singing?
Ned: [Tanker goes off] Beautiful. I wonder what they're saying.
Steve: Well actually that's a Sludge Tanker over there... [Several whales sing] There you go!

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: You're too old for me, Steve.
Steve: Yeah, well, you're pregnant.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Hey intern, get me a Campari.
Intern #1: On the rocks?

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: I need to find a baby for this father.
Steve: Yeah, I think I know what you mean.

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: I'm going to have to start locking my effing door.
Steve: It was locked, I kicked it in. Why don't you just curse like other people?
Jane: Because I'm trying to get out of the habit before I have my fucking baby!

Partager la citation sur facebook Anne-Marie: Uh, what is this, Pele?
Pele: I don't know. Uh, the map?

Partager la citation sur facebook Pelé: [talking about Jane] I like her hairdo.
Klaus: Me too, but Steve called her first.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: Who locked us out?
Anne-Marie: No-one, we're trespassing.
Ned: Steve, are we allowed in here?
Steve: It's a scientific community, man.

Partager la citation sur facebook Vladimir Wolodarsky: Steve, one of the interns just fell down the stairs with the main tracking processor.
Steve: All right, just make sure we steal the backup.

Partager la citation sur facebook Alistair: Apparently some crooked fuckers broke into my sea lab yesterday.
Crew member: How awful. Did they nick anything?
Alistair: It doesn't say. They probably just trashed the place. I'm so pissed I wanna spit. Hugo - tell Carl to load my elephant gun with buckshot. We're gonna hunt down these sickos.

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: How do you feel about part one of your new film?
Steve: Why? How do you feel about part one of my new film?
Jane: Well, I'm honest, so -
Steve: Just say it.
Jane: I thought aspects of it seemed slightly fake.
Steve: Did it seem fake when my best friend was bitten in half right in front of me then eaten alive, screaming? I think you're a fake. And I think you're a phony, and a bad reporter. How does that feel? Now tell me something. [Steve points his gun at her] Does this seem fake?

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: [handing Ned a gun] Here.
Ned: Oh, no, no, no.
Steve: No exceptions. Everyone gets one. Anne-Marie! Do the interns get glocks?
Anne-Marie: No. They all share one.

Partager la citation sur facebook Anne-Marie: Do you know that you just charted us on a course through unprotected waters?
Steve: Yeah, we're taking the shortcut.
Anne-Marie: But it's outside I.M.U. jurisdiction. There isn't any protection.
Steve: I know, honey. Look at the map. We go your way, that's about four inches. We go my way, it's an inch and a half. You wanna pay for the extra gas?

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: I hope you're not gonna bust our chops on this on, Bill.
Bill Ubell: Why would I do that?
Steve: Because you're a bond company stooge.
Bill Ubell: [scoffs] I'm also a human being.
Steve: All right, I take that back. How about a little teamsmanship?

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: What happened to Jacqueline?
Steve: She didn't really love me.

Partager la citation sur facebook [about the pirates' three-legged dog, who is whining]
Alistair: What's your dog's name?
Steve: [thinks a moment] Cody.
Alistair: [walks over and smacks the dog sharply on the face with his rolled-up newspaper] Be still, Cody.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean?... Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if.
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh... Do it again. I misunderstood.

Partager la citation sur facebook Oseary Drakoulias: [on a speaker phone] I spoke with Larry Amin, and it's a pass.
Steve: In other words, you fucked us!
Oseary Drakoulias: Let's not cast stones at one another, my dear. Do you hear me, damn it? Do you?
Steve: No, I don't! I told you how to play it!
Oseary Drakoulias: Oh, bloody hell! You listen here, mate!
Ned: Can I interrupt for a second?
Oseary Drakoulias: Who the blazes is that?
Ned: It's me, Ned. Maybe this is nothing, maybe it's something. I don't know what your problems are, I don't know... but I just inherited $275,000. Would that amount make any difference?
[silence]
Oseary Drakoulias: What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: Stevesy, what's happenin'? Are those hijackers?
Steve: Well, we call them pirates out here, Ned. You were supposed to be on watch, by the way.

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: Steve, it's way safer for us to just do what they say. They probably just want our money and jewels and shit.
Steve: Yeah. Then how am I gonna finish my movie then?

Partager la citation sur facebook Bill: Do you have a vault? They want to know if there's a vault.
Steve: There's no vault.
Steve: [narrating a scene of a documentary being watched by the pirates] Our vault contains at least ten different currencies from all over the world at any given moment, and we are prepared for every kind of financial necessity.
Steve: [seeing pirates with the vault] There goes Ned's inheritance.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Ned, how many fingers am I holdin' up?
Ned: I don't know. That's not my job. Too many to tell. How many fingers—
Steve: He's gonna be just fine.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Look, if you're not against me... don't cross this line. If yes, do. I love you all.
Steve: [Klaus steps forward] Are you sure?
Klaus: Yes, I am.
Steve: I don't understand. Why?
Klaus: What do you mean? Wait a second. What are we doing? You said cross the line if—
Steve: Cross the line if you're going to quit.
Klaus: Oh. Do it again. I misunderstood.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: That was all off the record, cubbie. That whole deal. Actually, I'm surprised you didn't cross the line yourself.
Jane: What line?
Steve: The line I drew on the deck just now. You weren't up there?
Jane: No.
Steve: You're kidding. That was one of the most dramatic things that's ever happened on this boat. I just lost all my best interns. I thought you were supposed to be covering this story.
Jane: You just said it was all off the record.
Steve: Yeah, but you didn't know that.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: Wait a second. They stole my budget, my boat's broken, you're ditchin' me up the creek. What am I supposed to do here?
Oseary Drakoulias: Well, I must say, nothing's jumping to mind. Phillip, any suggestions? No, he's shaking his head.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: [to interns] No. I can't give you full credit, but I'm not gonna flunk you either. You're all getting incompletes.
Intern: This is bullshit.

Partager la citation sur facebook Eleanor: Oh, shit. What do you want?
Steve: Do you mind if I butter you up a little before I answer that question?
Eleanor: Yes, I do. Tell me now.
Steve: I need some money to get the boat out of hock and rescue my bond company stooge who got kidnapped. Could we ask your parents to loan it to me?
Eleanor: No.
Steve: Okay. Could I go ahead and butter you up anyway? It took me two and a half hours to get out here.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: You know I'm not big on apologizing. So I'll just skip it if it's all the same to you.
Eleanor: Okay.
Steve: Anyway, I'm sorry.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: You were probably right all along. We should've had a kid together. Of course... you were kind of already... on the edge of bein' too old. Unless maybe that's a cop-out.
Eleanor: It's worse than a cop-out. I was thirty-four.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: What are you doin' here? I thought all you interns ran out on me.
Intern: I want to help you find that shark.
Steve: Goddamn it. Thank ya, intern. You're gettin' an "A."

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: You don't know me. You never wanted to know me. I'm just a character in your film.
Steve: It's a documentary. It's all really happening.
Ned: Well, damn you for that.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ned: I'm gonna fight you, Steve.
[Steve hits Ned in the face]
Steve: You never say, "I'm gonna fight you, Steve." You just smile and act natural, and then you sucker-punch him.
Ned : You fight your way, and I'll fight mine.
Steve: Oh, listen, Ned. Don't you try to...
[Ned hits Steve in the face]
Steve: I think your Team Zissou ring might've caught me on the lip.

Partager la citation sur facebook Steve: We'll split into two groups. I'll take Ned, Ogata, and Wolodarsky.
Klaus: Thanks. Thanks a lot for not picking me.
Steve: We're in the middle of a lighning strike rescue op, Klaus. What's the deal?
Klaus: I'm sick of being on "B" squad.
Steve: You might be on "B" Squad, But you're the "B" Squad leader. Don't you know me and Esteban always thought of you as our baby brother?
Klaus: I've always thought of you two as my dads. Please don't let any one make fun of me for saying so.
Steve: I can't guarantee that, Klausie, but I'll try. Can we get on with the maneuvers now?

Partager la citation sur facebook Bill Ubell: [as Steve raises his spear gun] No. Captain. That's Cedric. He's a friend.
Steve: Merci, Cedric. Remind me, we'll send him a red cap and a Speedo.

Partager la citation sur facebook Klaus: Thank you for putting me on the flag, Ned.
Ned: Of course, Klaus. It was my pleasure.
Klaus: Yeah, but you stitched me onto the dolphin, and I want you to know how much that means to me.
Ned: Well, I'm very pleased you liked it.
Klaus: Y-You're not listening. I didn't just like it. [Klaus salutes Ned] You understand?
Ned: Yes, I do. [Ned salutes in return] Thank you, Klaus.

Partager la citation sur facebook Alistair: Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is — h-how did you get my espresso machine?
Bill Ubell: Well... uh... we fuckin' stole it, man.

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: In twelve years he'll be eleven and a half.
Steve: That was my favorite age.

Partager la citation sur facebook Jane: Are we-are we safe in here?
Steve: I doubt it.