Chiun
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You did not ask to be white. So perhaps that is not your fault. You did not ask to be here. Perhaps that is not your fault, either.
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Breathe out... slowly... do not gulp. If you do not breathe correctly, you do not move correctly. Pitiful. I can see the deadly hamburger has done its evil work. We must sweat the poison from your body and rebuild.
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For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. But for a mountain I am not even begun in years. However, for a man I am just right.
Others
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Gen. Scott Watson: So listen to this, George. Lyman four-putts. Four-putts, mind you. I thought he'd have a stroke. And I'd have claimed it if he had.
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Harold Smith: Guard, protect and cherish your land, for there is no afterlife for a place that started out as Heaven. Charles M. Russell, Montana, 1926.
Dialogue
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Conn MacCleary: All I can promise you is terror for breakfast, pressure for lunch, and aggravation for sleep. Your vacations will be two minutes when you're not looking over your shoulder, and if you live to draw a pension, it'll be a miracle.
Remo Williams: Are there any disadvantages?
Conn MacCleary: Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted
this long.
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Remo Williams: Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
Chiun:
[striking Remo] Chinese! I am Korean! The Korean is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.
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Chiun: It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi-... monosoti...
Remo Williams: Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
Chiun: I can say "rat droppings." That does not mean I wish to eat them.
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New York City traffic control cop: Excuse me. What are you doin' to that boy?
Remo Williams: Oh, uh, unnecessary use of the horn, officer.
New York City traffic control cop: Well, I'll make unnecessary use of my nightstick on your thick skull if you don't let him go.
Remo Williams: Whatever happened to police courtesy and that kind of stuff, huh?
New York City traffic control cop: We save that bullshit for the upper east side.
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Chiun: Women should stay home and make babies. Preferably, manchild.
Major Rayner Fleming:
[to Remo] I see you both went to the same charm school.
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Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun: Of course. I am Chiun.
Remo Williams: And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun: Good! We will practice that
after dinner.
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Remo Williams: Are you hurt?
Chiun: No. When you approach middle age, there is a tendency toward bruising, my son.
Remo Williams: What? What did you call me?
Chiun: I called you a clumsy oaf! You drive like a monkey in heat!
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Remo Williams: You know, Chiun, sometimes you're a real pain in the ass.
Chiun: That is because it is the shortest route to your brain.
Remo Williams: Chiun, you're incredible!
Chiun: No!... I am better than that...
Taglines
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A most reluctant hero takes you on an action-adventure armed only with his fists and wits...and with his tongue planted in his cheek.