John Dolittle
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[after hearing Rodney speak] See, those guys in my dorm told me that stuff wouldn't affect me.
[starts to cry] Now, 15 years later, this shit starts happenin' to me!
Rodney
Dialogue
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Young John: Why do dogs sniff each other's butts?
Prologue Dog: Well, this is kinda our way of shaking hands. If you really wanna get a sense of who somebody really is, you gotta sniff their butt.
Archer: Son! Stop talking to the dog. She doesn't understand a word that you're saying.
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Young John:
[about the prologue dog after she is given up for adoption] She was my best friend.
Archer: You'll make some real friends now.
Lucky: From that day on, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again.
Archer: Someday, you're gonna thank me for this.
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Maya: Can I tell you a secret?
Archer: Yeah, sure.
Maya: When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid, I was happy because I believed that he could talk to animals. I want Dad to be weird, just like me. Is that wrong?
Archer: No. No, it's not wrong.
Maya: Sometimes I don't think he likes me very much.
Archer: Honey, he loves you.
Maya: I know he loves me, but I don't think he likes me, and I want him to. I'm gonna try to do things his way, Grandpa, and stop doing these stupid experiments.
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Baby Alligator: Mama?
Rodney: Mama? I'm not your mama.
Baby Alligator: Mama?
Lucky: Oh no, don't look at me. Though there was that one time I got drunk in the Everglades.