Quand Harriet découpe Charlie (1993)

Partager la citation sur facebook Heid! Pants! Now!

Partager la citation sur facebook Give your mother a kiss, or I'll kick your teeth in.

Partager la citation sur facebook Look at the size of that boy's head. I’m not kidding. It's like an orange on a toothpick.

Partager la citation sur facebook No kidding. His head's like Sputnik. Spherical, but quite pointy in parts.

Partager la citation sur facebook Ooh, that was off-sides, wasn't it? He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow!

Partager la citation sur facebook We have a piper down. I repeat, a piper is down. 'S all right, he's just pissed.

Partager la citation sur facebook Let's get pissed!

Partager la citation sur facebook May, turn off the Bay City Rollers! The soccer game is about to begin!

Partager la citation sur facebook Heid! Paper! Now! Move that melon of yours and get the paper if you can, hauling that gargantuan cranium about!

Partager la citation sur facebook May, shut it!

Partager la citation sur facebook [singing "Do You Think I'm Sexy" with bagpipes] If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, c'mon baby let me know! Haggis solo!

Partager la citation sur facebook Well it's a well-known fact, sonny-jim, that there's a secret society of the 5 wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually in a secret country mansion in Colorado known as The Meadows. (So who's in this Pentavirate?) The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds...and Colonel Sanders before he went tits up! Ooh I hated the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that smug look on his face! Ohh you're gonna buy my chicken! Ooh! (Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?) Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly, smart ass!

Partager la citation sur facebook [is served a huge cup of coffee] Excuse me miss, there seems to be a mistake. I believe I ordered the large cappuccino. Hello?!

Partager la citation sur facebook I believe most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Partager la citation sur facebook You know, Scotland has its own martial arts. Yeah, it's called FA-QUE! [pronounces it "fuck you"] It's mostly just head butting and then kicking people when they're on the ground.

Partager la citation sur facebook [after being asked by Harriet what he looks for in a woman] Most people say a sense of humor, but I'm gonna have to go with breast size.

Partager la citation sur facebook I like the night life. I like to boogey.

Partager la citation sur facebook I think I'm dating Ms. X...

Partager la citation sur facebook I care for Apple Jacks a great deal.

Partager la citation sur facebook Harriet!
Harry-it
Hard-hearted harbinger of haggis
Beautiful, bemuse-ed, bellicose butcher.
Un-trust... ing.
Un-know... ing.
Un-love... ed?
He wants you back, he screams into the night air like a fireman going to a window that has no fire...
except the passion of his heart.
I am lonely!
It's really hard!
This poem... sucks.

Partager la citation sur facebook Woman... woe-man... whoah, man!She was a thief,
you got to belief,
she stole my heart and my cat.
Betty,
Judy,
Josie and those hot Pussycats...
They make me horny,
Saturday morny
Girls of cartoo-ins
Won't leave me in ruins
I want to to be Betty's Barney.
Hey Jane... get me off this crazy thing... called love.

Partager la citation sur facebook Harriet Michaels: Do you actually like haggis?
Charlie Mackenzie: No, I think it's repellent in every way. In fact, I think most Scottish cuisine is based on a dare.

Partager la citation sur facebook Stuart Mackenzie: Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as the Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
Tony Giardino: So who's in this Pentavirate?
Stuart Mackenzie: The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets-up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"
Charlie Mackenzie: Dad, how can you hate the Colonel?
Stuart Mackenzie: Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartarse!
Charlie Mackenzie: Interesting.... Coo-coo.

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: How many people have you brutally murdered?
Harriet Michaels: Well, brutal's a subjective term. What's brutal to one person might be entirely reasonable to someone else.

Partager la citation sur facebook May Mackenzie: Charlie, hand me the paper.
Charlie Mackenzie: Mom, I find it interesting that you call The Weekly World News "the paper." A paper contains facts.
May Mackenzie: This newspaper contains facts. Look at this. "Pregnant man gives birth." That's a fact!

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: So Tony, what's the deal with your clothes?
Tony Giardino: What do ya mean?
Charlie Mackenzie: I mean you look like Huggy Bear from Starsky and Hutch.
Tony Giardino: What are ya talking about, I look hip!
Charlie Mackenzie: No no no no no no no, you look like an undercover cop TRYING to look hip.
Tony Giardino: I AM an undercover cop trying to look hip.

Partager la citation sur facebook Tony Giardino: Every time you meet a nice girl you can get close to, you always break up with them for paranoid reasons.
Charlie Mackenzie: That's not true. I broke up with those girls for very good reasons.
Tony Giardino: Oh really?
Charlie Mackenzie: Yes.
Tony Giardino: Oh really? What about Jill?
Charlie Mackenzie: She was in the mafia.

Partager la citation sur facebook Tony Giardino: What about Pam?
Charlie Mackenzie: She smelled like soup.

Partager la citation sur facebook Rose Michaels: Let me make you some breakfast.
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh gee, you know, I-I'd love to but, you know, I'm really running late.
Rose Michaels: What would you say to silver dollar pancakes, fresh squeezed orange juice, bacon, and Kona coffee?
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, that sounds great.
[scene changes to her pouring Charlie a bowl of Fruit Loops]
Rose Michaels: Sorry, I didn't have those other things.

Partager la citation sur facebook Rose Michaels: You know Harriet.
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, actually I don't.
Rose Michaels: But you did have sex with her.
Charlie Mackenzie: Hello!

Partager la citation sur facebook John Johnson: Hello everyone, I am a park ranger and I will be leading you on the tour. All of the park rangers were, at one time, guards, myself included. My name is John Johnson but everyone here calls me "Vicky".
Tony Giardino: I love Vicky.
Charlie Mackenzie: Yeah, Vicky's the best.

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: Hi, can we get our check please? Thanks.
[the check comes]
Charlie Mackenzie: I'll get that.
Tony Giardino: No i got it.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no.
Tony Giardino: No, no, no. Let me.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tony Giardino: Charlie, please.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tony Giardino: Let me pick this up, please.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no.
Tony Giardino: I insist.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no, no, no, no, no. No to infinity. Negatory. Negatory, good buddy. Ne-ga-to-ry!
Harriet Michaels: I'll pick up the check.
Charlie Mackenzie: Okay.

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: I think I'm dating Mrs. X
Tony Giardino: Charlie. Two words: Therapy.

Partager la citation sur facebook Stuart Mackenzie: So, Charlie tells me you're a butcher.
Harriet Michaels: Yes, I am a butcher.
Stuart Mackenzie: Do you link your own sausage?

Partager la citation sur facebook May Mackenzie: Harriet, why don't you come with me. I have wonderful photographs when he was a wee baby.
Stuart Mackenzie: And show her the picture of Charlie when he shit his pants at Niagara Falls.

Partager la citation sur facebook Harriet Michaels: Charlie, have you ever stood at the edge of a cliff or a subway platform with someone and you thought just for a split second "What if I pushed him?"
Charlie Mackenzie: Well, not really. Usually I follow the Judeo-Christian ethic of "Thou shalt not kill" but that's just me.

Partager la citation sur facebook Frank/Obituary writer: Here's another one here, Native San Franciscan, plumber, Elliot, Ralph. Moved to Dallas, disappeared four months ago. Body was found in a sewer.
Newspaper reporter: Well, guy takes his job too seriously, life goes down the drain. Haha.
Charlie Mackenzie: Did they mention anything about his wife?
Newspaper reporter: Alright, okay. Look, I know that we're talking about real people so I'm sorry.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no. I'm serious, did they mention the wife?
Newspaper reporter: No, look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make a joke about other people's lives.
Charlie Mackenzie: No, no. I'm really serious. Did they mention the wife? I just want to know about the wife.
Newspaper reporter: Hey, hey! You win, you win, okay? I'm a bad person!
Frank/Obituary writer: Hey, c'mon take it easy, will ya?
Newspaper reporter: No, he's saying I'm a bad person and that I'm insensitive. He's saying I'm a shit.
Frank/Obituary writer: He's not saying you're a shit!
Charlie Mackenzie: Did they-did they mention the wife?!
Newspaper reporter: No! No! They didn't mention the wife! Ya happy?! Yeah! Oh hoo, yes, yes. I'm insensitive! I'm a very insensitive man! Stop your job, look at the insensitive man! That's what they're paying you for!
Frank/Obituary writer: [to Charlie] He was my ride home.

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: I don't want to lose you.
Harriet Michaels: You didn't. You rejected me.
Charlie Mackenzie: Okay, I'm un-rejecting you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Harriet Michaels: Ralph, this is Charlie.
Ralph: It's really great to meet you.
Charlie Mackenzie: Oh no, no. It's great to meet you. Yes, yes. I love you!
[hugs her tightly out of happiness, making his towel drop]
Charlie Mackenzie: ...I'm naked, aren't I?

Partager la citation sur facebook Charlie Mackenzie: Marry me.
Harriet Michaels: No..
Charlie Mackenzie: ...Please?

Partager la citation sur facebook The honeymoon was killer