Quand l'inspecteur s'emmêle (1964)

Partager la citation sur facebook Facts, Hercule, facts! Nothing matters but the facts. Without them the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.

Partager la citation sur facebook [after getting his hand caught in a spinning globe] Look at that. I have Africa all over my hand.

Partager la citation sur facebook I believe everything and I believe nothing. I suspect everyone and I suspect no one.

Partager la citation sur facebook Well, Cato, I'm back on the case. Ah-ha! [hits him] Now to set the trap, catch the killer and prove to the world that Maria Gambrelli is innocent... of murder. We must accelerate out training program. You must learn to attack me whenever and wherever I least expect it. And you, you must give no quarter.

Partager la citation sur facebook Prison is bad enough, without, uncomfortable furniture.

Partager la citation sur facebook Give me ten men like Clouseau and I could destroy the world.

Partager la citation sur facebook If someone has been murdered here, please let it be Clouseau.

Partager la citation sur facebook Dreyfus: [answers phone] Commissioner Dreyfus... Ah, yes, my darling... I was just about to call you. I'm on my way. I've got the cheese and the beaujolais... What? [laughs] ... My love. Kiss the children for me, hmm?
[intercom buzzes]
Dreyfus: Hold on. [covers phone mouthpiece; answers intercom] Yes?
Intercom: Your wife is on the other line.
Dreyfus: Tell her I'm out of town.

Partager la citation sur facebook Françios: I made a terrible mistake.
Dreyfus: Who did you assign to the case?
Françios: Clouseau.
Dreyfus: Oh, my God.

Partager la citation sur facebook Clouseau: There is something... personal... in this?
Dreyfus: Yes, deeply personal. I hate you! Every little bit of you! Now get out!
Clouseau: You want me to leave?

Partager la citation sur facebook Dreyfus: [chuckles and whimpers] He released her again, and he's taking her out to dinner to dinner. Every paper in Paris has the story, including the Christian Science Monitor, and he gave them the story! You see, he claims she's protecting her lover, and the best way to force him into the open is to make him jealous. Jealous! That nincompoop! That megalomaniac! He's setting the science of criminal investigation back a thousand years, and I can't do anything about it!
Psychoanalyst: Why not?
Dreyfus: Why not? What if he's right?

Partager la citation sur facebook Maria Gambrelli: You should get out of these clothes immediately! You'll catch your death of pneumonia, you will.
Clouseau: Yes, I suppose I probably will. But it's all part of life's rich pageant, you know.

Partager la citation sur facebook Clouseau: Listen to me, Hercule, and you will learn something. Now then, the facts in this case are: the body of the chauffeur was found in the bedroom of the second maid. Fact! Cause of death: Four bullets in the chest. Fact! The bullets were fired at close range from a .25 caliber Beretta automatic. Fact! Maria Gambrelli was discovered with the murder weapon in her hand. Fact! The murder weapon was registered in the name of the deceased, Miguel Ostos, and was kept, mind you, in the glove compartment of the Ballon Rolls-Royce. Fact! Now then, members of the household staff have testified that Miguel Ostos beat... [snaps his pointing stick] You fool! You have broken my pointing stick! I have nothing to point with now!... have testified that Miguel Ostos beat Maria Gambrelli frequently. And now, finally comes the sworn statement of Monsieur and Madame Ballon, as well as all the members of the staff, each of them with perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule, What is the inescapable conclusion?
Hercule LaJoy: Maria Gambrelli killed the chauffeur.
Clouseau: What? You idiot! It's impossible. She's protecting someone.
Hercule LaJoy: How do you know that?
Clouseau: Instinct!
Hercule LaJoy: But the facts...
Clouseau: You are forgetting the most important fact - motive.
Hercule LaJoy: He beat her.
Clouseau: He was Spanish!
Hercule LaJoy: He tore her dress off.
Clouseau: Oh, don't be ridiculous. Would you kill someone who tore your dress off?
Hercule LaJoy: No, I suppose not.
Clouseau: No, of course not! No, no. No, there is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, Hercule. Maria Gambrelli is most definitely protecting somebody. Find that somebody, and you have found the murderer. And I shall find the murderer before the day is out. Maria Gambrelli will tell me who he is. Oh, yes.

Partager la citation sur facebook Clouseau: [Arriving at Camp Sunshine] I am here on official business and I am looking for someone in the recreation area.
Camp Attendant: Not unless you take off your clothes...
Clouseau: You, sir, are under arrest.
Camp Attendant: Arrest? What for?
Clouseau: For making lewd and suggestive remarks to an official of the French government.
Camp Attendant: Lewd and suggestive remarks?
Clouseau: Also for indecent exposure... doesn't anyone wear any clothes around here?
Camp Attendant: No.
Clouseau: What?!
Camp Attendant: This is a nudist colony.

Partager la citation sur facebook Dreyfus: What about the maid?
Clouseau: The maid?
Dreyfus: Was he jealous of her too? He strangled her.
Clouseau: It is possible that his intended victim was a man and that he made a mistake.
Dreyfus: A mistake?... in a nudist camp?
Clouseau: Nobody's perfect.
Dreyfus: Idiot nincompoop lunatic!

Partager la citation sur facebook Clouseau: Well... that just goes to prove what I have said all along.
Dreyfus: What you've said, Clouseau, qualifies you as the greatest prophet since Custer said he was going to surround all those Indians!

Partager la citation sur facebook Clouseau: Facts, Hercule, facts, behind them lays the whole fabric of deductive truth. Now, Hercule let us examine these facts: One... [holding up one finger] She was found with the murder weapon in her hand, Two... [holding up three fingers] The murder weapon was fresh with blood, Three... [holding up four fingers] There were no fingerprints on the murder weapon other then hers and Four... [holding up all five fingers] All the members of the Ballon household staff have perfect alibis. Now then, Hercule what do these facts add up to?
Hercule LaJoy: Maria Gambrelli killed Georges the gardener.
Clouseau: You are an idiot, only a fresh faced novice would come up with a conclusion like that.
Hercule LaJoy: But the facts...
Clouseau: Listen, whoever killed Miguel, killed Georges the gardener and he did it to cover up the first crime. Now, what he is trying to do is lay the blame at the foot of this, this poor servant girl.
Hercule LaJoy: Well, who do you suspect?
Clouseau: I suspect everyone.
Hercule LaJoy: Well... I suppose that is possible.
Clouseau: Possible? What do you mean possible? I deal in certainties.

Partager la citation sur facebook The screen commits the perfect comedy!

Partager la citation sur facebook There was a young sleuth full of tricks, solving murders would give him such kicks, till a suspect he treasured was found to be measured 36-26-36!

Partager la citation sur facebook It's Sellers the Sleuth... and there's nothing he won't do to track down a body -- dead or alive!

Partager la citation sur facebook This is a real high calibre comedy!

Partager la citation sur facebook Meet the inspector who was always on the job In The Bedroom... In The Nightclub... In The Nudist Colony!

Partager la citation sur facebook ... The Picture That Gets Away With Murder!