Yes Man (2008)

Partager la citation sur facebook No. No means no!
First lines of movie, refusing to answer his telephone.

Partager la citation sur facebook First lines of movie, refusing to answer his telephone.

Partager la citation sur facebook Walking with gas can after being stranded without gas.

Partager la citation sur facebook "Yes always leads to something good." "Never avoid opportunities. They may come in any form."
Reading from a "Yes!" pamphlet.

Partager la citation sur facebook Reading from a "Yes!" pamphlet.

Partager la citation sur facebook Hey, I'm just saying "yes" to life — 'cause — you gotta say "yes" to life. I'm in a secret conevant! ... that sounded naughty!

Partager la citation sur facebook She's spontaneous. She's ballsy. She has no clue what she's doing and she doesn't care. She's the complete opposite of me.
On Allison to Peter

Partager la citation sur facebook On Allison to Peter

Partager la citation sur facebook Well, its been a nice run. I might get shit-canned norm. Anyway, don't worry about it — I'm sure it will lead to something good.

Partager la citation sur facebook Not possible!
After leaving Stephanie's apartment, he sees a guy who looks like him call Carl a "no man"

Partager la citation sur facebook After leaving Stephanie's apartment, he sees a guy who looks like him call Carl a "no man"

Partager la citation sur facebook Terrence, Don't freak out...
Popping up in back seat of Terrence Bundley's car.

Partager la citation sur facebook Popping up in back seat of Terrence Bundley's car.

Partager la citation sur facebook The old Carl didn't think he was enough for anybody. I thought if I said yes to things, and got involved with people, then sooner or later they'd find out I'm not enough. I didn't think I had anything to share. But now I know that what I have to share is pretty huge, and I want to share it with you.

Partager la citation sur facebook Okay, maybe's fine. I like maybe.

Partager la citation sur facebook Don't call me past 11pm, it won't happen again.
Happened once, it happened twice, it happened three times, maybe four times, maybe five times, maybe, maybe it happened six times, but it won't happen seven times.
I'm not your late night booty call.
Don't call me past 11 PM, it won't happen again. You can call me at 10:59 but don't call me at 11 — cause that's my rule now.
Singing as lead of "Munchausen by Proxy"

Partager la citation sur facebook Singing as lead of "Munchausen by Proxy"

Partager la citation sur facebook I can't put my finger on you. You're unpredictable. Kind of mysterious.

Partager la citation sur facebook I know our music isn't that mainstream — I love doing it. It's like my photography. I know there isn't that much demand for blurry photographs taken while running — but ... you know, who cares? The world's a playground! You know that when you are a kid, but somewhere along the way everyone forgets it.

Partager la citation sur facebook How do I know if anything you did was because you wanted to or because you were following some goddamn program?

Partager la citation sur facebook Life! We are all living it — or are we?

Partager la citation sur facebook The word is Yes, say it a million times, say it a million more times and the word you'd've said two-million times is [the audience] YES!

Partager la citation sur facebook Okay, If the molehill won't come to Terrence … then Terrence will come to the molehill.

Partager la citation sur facebook You're dead, Carl. You say "no" to life and therefore, you're not living. You make up excuses to the people around you and to yourself. You're stuck in the same dead-end job you've had for years. You don't have a girlfriend. You don't have anything close to a girlfriend. And you lost the love of your life because she couldn't be with someone who didn't live theirs. And on most nights you're so bored and filled with ennui, you can't even summon the enthusiasm necessary to masturbate. Am I right, Carl?

Partager la citation sur facebook Yes is the new no! Start learning to say yes to life today!

Partager la citation sur facebook Yes to adventure.

Partager la citation sur facebook Yes to victory.

Partager la citation sur facebook Nick: Carl! Hey! Long time no see!
Carl: Nick Lane? Hey!
Nick: You don't still work at the bank, do you?
Carl: Yeah. Kinda alone sitting outside here, eating my lunch, wearing the name tag.
Nick: Huh, you must be running this place by now.
Carl: I could have. I had a couple of offers. Didn't wanna get tied down.
Nick: How's Stephanie?
Carl: Good God! She... she's good! What have you been doing?
Nick: Oh, I've been all over the map, man. I've lived! I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro. I ate bat in Laos. Shot a cow with a bazooka... I'm not proud of that last one. But I did it, man!
Carl: Wow, sounds wild!
Nick: Wanna know my secret? (takes a pamphlet from outside his coat) I'm a "Yes!" man! The word "yes" has changed my life. Here.
Carl: No thanks, I'm fine.
Nick: Fine, I wet my ass with fine!
Carl: Wow, OK.
Nick: You don't wanna work here, Carl. (while stuffing the pamphlet inside Carl's jacket)
Carl: Yeah I do.
Nick: No you don't. (gets a rock out of his pocket and moves close to Carl) Why don't you take this rock, throw it at that bank and shatter the window?
Carl: (uncomfortably) No thanks.
Nick: Then ask me it I want to.
Carl: Do you wanna throw that rock at the bank?
Nick: Yes! [Nick throws the rock and shatters the bank window, setting off the alarm]
Carl: What, are you nuts?
Nick: Go to the seminar, Carl! [Nick runs away, pushing Carl aside, and is stopped by the security men]
Nick: Carl, live your life! You won't regret it!

Partager la citation sur facebook Allison [seeing Carl at bar, after her performance]: Hey! Out of gas "make out" guy!
Carl: Did we make out? Oh right we did. Now I remember!
Allison: What are you doing here?
Carl: Is this crazy or what?
Allison: It's so crazy. Are you stalking me?
Carl: No, I would never do that. Oh by the way, your new furniture — looks great from the yard.

Partager la citation sur facebook Peter: (angrily) You know what, buddy? You missed my engagement party tonight.
Carl: Oh no. Oh shoot, you're kidding? That was tonight?
Peter: Mm-hm.
Carl: I'm so sorry, man, I totally gapped it! Listen, I'll make it up to you, I promise! I swear, you pick the day, any day you want, we'll go out, we'll swashbuckle!
Peter: What does that even mean?
Carl: I don't know.
Peter: This wasn't just drinks at a bar, Carl! This was MY engagement party! You only get married once.
Carl: (uncomfortably) Well, I certainly wouldn't do it again. (he's been divorced from his wife for three years.)
Peter:: (annoyed) I know Carl, I know that Stephanie left you and you bitched because of it, but this isn't about you. This is about me! When's the last time you did anything fun? You're always making excuses, "I don't want to commit, I don't wanna get tied down!" I mean, do you even know my fiancee's last name?
Carl: Yeah! It's Fisher, Fishman. Wait.. Fish-wall...
Peter: Fishwall? You think her name is Lucy... Fishwall?
Carl: No. It's wrong.
Peter: It's Burns!
Carl: Burns?
Peter: It's Lucy Burns, Carl. And guess what? She doesn't like my best friend. And I keep trying to think of reasons why she should, but you know what? I can't think any. (starts to leave)
Carl: Pete, I...
Peter: I don't wanna hear another excuse, Carl! Jesus! You do whatever you want! I'm just telling you, if you don't change your life, (exits downstairs) you're gonna end up a LONELY guy, Carl! A LOOOOOOOONELY GUY! [Carl dejectedly shuts the door]

Partager la citation sur facebook [Allison and Carl are skeet shooting]
Allison: [preparing to shoot] So what do I do? I just - [discharges the shotgun, sending some turf flying and making everyone jump in fright]
Instructor: [steppng in] Whoa, whoa, whoa. [raises the gun to her shoulder] Here you go.
Allison: [Taking aim] Okay, uh, pull? [skeet is launched and she shoots it] I got it! I got it!
[She swings round, still holding the shotgun. Everyone dives to the floor in fright]
Allison: [oblivious] Can I do it again? Can I do it again? What's wrong?

Partager la citation sur facebook Allison: I dated this guy and I was astounded at how perfectly content he was just living his life in this closed-off little box.
Carl: I know, its so frustrating! just want to grab these people and shake them. Say "Wake up you — you're missing out — on a little thing called Life!"
Allison: That's so true.

Partager la citation sur facebook [Carl and Lucy are working on Lucy's bridal shower]
Carl: [finding something in a catalogue] What's this? "Bridal Bingo?" How do you play "Bridal Bingo?"
Supervisor: It's the same as regular bingo, but you just yell embarrassing facts about the bride.
Carl: Yeah...
Lucy: No, I'm not doing bridal bingo.
Carl: Come on
Lucy: No, I don't want anything complicated.
Carl: [squeezing his fist] You gotta squeeze every drop of juice out of this experience. And it doesn't sound complicated. Is it complicated?
Supervisor: [unhappily] Are you going to ask a lot more question? I don't got all day. [wanders somewhere, muttering sadly in Korean]
Lucy: Maybe we should just go somewhere else.
Carl: No, it's okay, I'll talk to her.
[he approaches the supervisor]
Carl: [in Korean] Miss... Is there something wrong?
Supervisor: [looking up in surprise and responding in Korean] Yes. There is something wrong. Here I am... Sitting here all day long, watching others getting engaged and married over and over again. It's just not fair! How about me? How about Soo-Mi? When will my time come?
Carl: [In Korean] Ahh, I hear you. Soon, your time is gonna come. [Lucy looks dumbfounded] Do you see the lady who came with me? [Soo-Mi looks over at her] She's my best friend's fiancee... And she reaaaally hates my guts [Soo-Mi laughs at this remark] You'd really be hooking me up if you helped make this fun for her. Let's get on the same team here. [she smiles] What do you say, Soo-Mi?
Soo-Mi: [in English] Okay.
Carl: [In Korean] Let's go! [she repeats this]
Soo-Mi: [to Lucy] Okay, Bridal Bingo, very simple! Okay, I can explain to you in more detail if you want.

Partager la citation sur facebook Allison: I've known that I like you for a while, but just now I decided that I love you. Do you love me?
Carl: Definitely. I love you like — I can't believe it. It's kind of ridiculous.

Partager la citation sur facebook Carl: I need you to remove the covenant.
Terrence: There is no covenant, there never was, I was just riffing.
Carl: Riffing?
Terrence: Well, I had to say something — you were being difficult, embarrassing me in front of my crowd.
Carl: So that little "Yes" thing is all bullshit?
Terrence: No — you just don't know how to use it, that's all.
Carl: Yeah I do — say "yes" to everything — real tough to grasp.
Terrence [exasperated]: No, that's not the point. Well, maybe at first it is, but that's just to open you up to it — to get you started. Then you're saying yes not because you have to, not because a covenant tells you to, but because you know in your heart that you want to.
Carl: Yah. You're right. That makes perfect sense.

Partager la citation sur facebook Norman: Got tons of it at Costco. You see, I've got an exclusive membership card. And with that card, I get access to the whole place. I can buy large quantities of anything at discount prices.
Allison: Can't anyone get one of those cards?
Norman: No, don't think so. But I can talk to someone, if you'd like.
Carl: Yeah, put in a good word for us. That would be great.

Partager la citation sur facebook Carl: Even if I had met you, I would have never asked you out. You were the complete opposite of me. You did things and had friends and sang in rock bands and made life happen. You weren't scared of anything.
Allison: You don't think I'm scared of anything? Who do you think I am? I'm scared of a lot of things.
Carl: And I'm scared too. So let's be scared together.
Allison: I don't know what you want me to say.
Carl: So just say yes — but only if you really want to. And can you do it fairly soon? I'm starting to get a chill.

Partager la citation sur facebook Terrence: YES! Say it a million times. Say it a million more times. And the word you will have said two million times is...
Crowd [nude because they've donated their clothes to charity]: YES!
Terrence [seeing them all nude]: Good God.